I truly hope you met God in the space where one comes to worship; to hear the Word that speaks truth over your life; the place that is dedicated to serenity for 2 hours out of a dedicated day to solely and intently rest in His presence.
I hope you found God in a space that felt safe and secure similar to the feeling of coming home or wrapped up in your favorite blanket. I hope that’s the case where everyone was welcoming, wholeheartedly glad you walked through the wide double doors, excited to see a new face and offered you coffee or a donut or refreshments while you eagerly settled in for the opening speaker at your local church.
I hope this is the way you first met the Lord. Like truly, intently met the Lord and knew him for the first time. I hope this is you.
But if you’re anything like me, I may have heard of the Lord in my local church and went to the youth group hang outs or the camps and I knew that there was a foundation of the Lord in my home but did I truly know and understand the depth of His love? Did I know He would walk through fire for me and with me and never leave me? Did I know His grace knew no bounds and would sit me with in my mess that I made for myself? That’s a big…fat…no.
To hear of and to know are two completely different encounters. One plants the seed while the other grows the seed. One is held at arms length while the other is knowing you are safe in His arms. One invites you in but feels isolating and the other fights with you or even for you making you feel protected.
I met God in my mess and arguably one of the lowest moments of my life.
That’s right…I was a drunken, lonely, crying mess. I dated for company and drank to feel but all that was left of me was an emptiness inside I couldn’t quite describe. Not to my parents nor my brother and not even to my friends or other family members. I couldn’t explain the void inside of me. I was ashamed and embarrassed of who I was becoming and I dug myself a grave so deep I felt like I could jump in it and keep falling into a random abyss.
I felt like a failure; a fraud. I would show up to church on Sundays with alcohol on my breath from the night before and empty vodka bottles under my car seats and just “pray the pain away” if you will.
“Everything happens for a reason” they say or “all’s well that ends well”. But was that really true? It depends who you ask. While these are common phrases that seem to solve world problems in just a simple sentence, why did I feel so empty?
Enter to the scene…the whisper that changed it all.
God’s voice.
He introduced Himself to me in the midst of my mess…in the most informal way possible! (…if you’d like to hear more details about the first time I heard God’s voice, I invite you to read Whispers of Love published here only earlier this year.)
He came at a time when I least expected it and in that moment, I came to know who God really was. I remember reflecting on all the harm I had done to myself and honestly to others, and I remember thinking surely not. Why would God want anything to do with me? I’m damaged goods. I’m not worth His presence in my life. I resisted Him. I had turned so far right when He asked me to turn left that I didn’t want to accept Him in my heart.
If you have felt this way or are currently feeling this way….my friend, you are not alone. Here me when I say this:
Whatever does happen or has happened in your life, God can use it for good. Through Jesus, we have a new name. Shame, guilt, etc. has no hold on us because through Christ, we are created new. He knows us by name. Not by what we have done but who we are. We are loved by Him, renewed by Him, and given a new name in Christ.
All things work together to those who love God, who are called according to His purpose”
Romans 8:28
This doesn’t mean life will be all sunshine and rainbows…but it does mean when life knocks the wind out of you, you are able to find rest in His presence and know that it will work out according to His will. He will turn something bad into something so good you never saw it coming. Something so powerful and wonderful that the only answer for it was Jesus.
I heard of God through the seeds that had been slowly planted in my life.
But I met God in my mess.
I’ve come to know God through His unwavering; unfailing grace He has placed in my life.
I am who I am because of what happened in my life and because of His redeeming Love.
And so are you.
Rest in His presence here and now. You don’t have to have your life together to meet the King at the alter. In fact, He will come to you. He will meet you at the bar or the park or your bed or even on a run (even though cardio might feel like hell…). He will meet you in your mess.
It’s time to invite Him to an informal meeting.
Simply Blooming Grace 