We had celebrated my 29th birthday all weekend. He had pulled out all the stops with a new pair of jeans that made me feel like the hottest, yet still modest momma on the block. After having my fourth baby last year, it was wonderful to feel like me even in those size mom* jeans.
(*The best learning lesson I have found in clothes from a dear fellow HVFH author, Lauren of From Blacktop to Dirt Road.)
I felt invincible—and this birthday would indeed be unforgettable.
The whole family had gathered at an Italian restaurant where the salad and soup were just as unlimited as the elastic stretch on my eating pants. We lived three hours outside of any city, so the chance to eat at any Italian restaurant was a divine treat. I knew exactly what I wanted to order: Shrimp and Chicken Carbonara.
I told my brother and husband it was exactly what I wanted— but they both hesitated.
“Rachel, should you really order that.”
I had struggled with food allergies the last two years—gluten, yeast, dairy, and shellfish were items all on my do not consume list. But I remembered before getting sick, a few years ago, how much I had enjoyed this meal. It was one of my favorites…and by golly it was my birthday!
I wanted what I wanted—I was invincible, everything had gone my way this weekend. Why would this be any different? I wanted this special birthday dinner to be unforgettable. It had been forever since I ordered this entrée—maybe I would be fine now. Couldn’t hurt to try?
I waved down the waiter, and in my stubborn ginger tone ordered the meal my heart desired and smiled with glee as it arrived to the table.
20 minutes after eating my old favorite meal, I started feeling extremely hot, sick, and covered in sweat. It took every ounce in me to not run to the bathroom, and I declined dessert. Still stubbornly, I went and on to pack up my leftovers and head home. After a game of cards, I felt better and entered the fridge to grab my leftovers. It was the end of my birthday, and I had selfishly decided it must have not been the allergies that was causing the sickness; but the fact that I just overate at supper. It would be fine this time.
Again, I started feeling sick and added now this extreme stab in my stomach.
My body was so mad.
Beyond furious—and it made sure I would make this birthday dinner unforgettable.
I spent the rest of the evening and early morning hurling my guts out in the bathroom. I was so tired the next day that I couldn’t play with my kids—and I was a grouch to my husband. I missed out on the next day of wonderful joy and fun, because I was so caught up in making my birthday selfishly, stubbornly unforgettable.
I still share this story with embarrassment. Not because of my stubborn ginger ways, but because of the stupidity in repeating the mistake multiple times, even after wise council was given.
How many times have we been told the soundest advice, the best encouragement, the way to escape and seek joy— and ignore it?
How many times have we thrown our adult temper tantrum to make a moment unforgettable?
How many times did we behave selfishly and not think about what we missed out on, because we chose to do it our way?
How many times do we need to repeat something we know is not good for us and live with the uncomfortable consequences?
I found this correlated with my relationship with the LORD. He gave sound wisdom, wise counsel, had an abundance of grace and joy, experiences, talents for me to share…but some days I told Him it was not good enough. I would purposefully choose to do something unforgettable to skip out on the mundane due to boredom and selfish desires. I believed the lie that the LORD was a fun sucker, not the truth about His character actually being the Life Giver.
He did not create boundaries for me not to have fun, enjoyment, or delight. He created boundaries and guidelines, so that I would be safe and not puking my guts out on life’s ever abundance of poor choices.
We raise our tiny humans everyday to rejoice in the day and be glad in it.
Can we as their mommas allow the LORD to raise us to enjoy the unforgettable joy in the mundane—and avoid the late night stomach pains of selfish, fool’s gold invincibility?
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Philippians 4:4 (King James Version)
Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
Proverbs 11:2 (English Standard Version)
When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with the humble is wisdom.
Simply Blooming Grace 